Life is overwhelmingly painful after we lose a loved one. I would like to share things that help me as I go through the grieving process. Hopefully it will help someone else out there. I am now living in the same home I grew up in. When I was a child, my parents would plant a big vegetable garden nearly every summer. I hated it! I was to help with weeding the garden and I did not enjoy it at all. I would rather go play in the sandbox or swing on the swing set or play with friends. Really, anything else but weed the garden. As I got older and had my own place, the thought of planting a garden never crossed my mind.
I now forward to 2018, my son and my brother had been gone nearly one year at the time. I needed something to do with the extra time I had now. Something to take my mind off of my loss. Something I could take care of and watch it grow. I thought I would try planning and planting a vegetable garden, in the same area we had grown it when I was young. I wanted to start some of the seedlings inside, since it is cheaper than buying the seedlings from the nursery. I do not have a south-facing window, so I had to purchase a few different grow lights like the ones linked. All three of them worked wonderful, I may add a couple more this year. I also needed seed starting kits. The kits linked worked very well for me. They have compressed peat disks, when you add water to them they grow to size. You can purchase the refill disks separately, and use your trays over again. I bought all sorts of seeds. Way more than would fit in my garden area. (I was overly excited) Four to six weeks before it was time to plant outdoors, I started my seeds. Before long a few little seedlings sprouted. It was exciting to have something to look forward to each day.
My dad has a large, gas powered rototiller. However, it is too big for me to handle. I did some research online and found an electric tiller that was small, yet would work for my garden. It had great reviews. It was a good purchase for my little garden project. Once I got the area tilled up, it was time to plant my seedlings. The edge of my garden area is just 10 feet away from the spot my son died. It was hard at first, to be so close to that area of the yard. With time it didn’t bother me as much. I found that trying to move shovels, rakes, big bags of topsoil and peat was quite difficult. I found a tough wagon to load my supplies in and pull around the garden. I can’t live without this wagon, it is a back saver. Not to mention, I can use it for multiple things around the yard. So, I planted my seedlings. I even had some volunteer pumpkin plants come up later on in the season – that’s what happens when you throw your old Jack-o-lanterns into the (then) weed patch.
Flowers 
Pumpkins 
Carrots & Onions 
Over the Spring and Summer I loved to take care of my garden. I spent hours just enjoying the sun on my face and growing these beautiful veggies. I also planted multiple flowers around the yard. Weeding still isn’t my favorite task, it isn’t as bad as it seemed when I was a child though. Planting and caring for a garden was, and still is, excellent therapy for me. I think it is important to have a project to work on when you are grieving. It is hard to focus on anything other than your recent loss. Gardening is a good outlet and you get to eat and share the end result… BONUS! My garden last year was even bigger and better than the previous year. I am actually getting really good at it. I have started including my young nephews and teaching them a little bit about it. My dogs get to enjoy the outdoors as I work in my garden, so it’s a win for them as well. There is nothing like a fresh tomato or green beans from the garden. I am currently starting to plan my garden for this year. If you do not have the ability to plant a garden in your yard. A nice tomato plant in a pot can still be a form of therapy.
Thank you for reading. I would love to hear your feedback. Have a great day!
It's Probably Sharon 
Oh I love this!
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